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The Virtue of Gentleness (Part-1) – Feast of light
The Virtue of Gentleness (Part-2) – Feast of light
How to Cultivate Gentleness
1.A gentle spirit comes from having an accurate scriptural view of ourselves and of others. We must see ourselves as sinners who are saved by grace alone. If not for what God has done in our lives, we would not be what we are right now. We must realize how gentle and gracious God has been to us, to forgive us our sins when we really deserved to be punished. How gracious God is to give us eternal life and a home in heaven, when we really deserved eternal death in hell. How blessed we are to have the privilege of walking with Him, when we really deserved to be left to continue walking in our own ways of destruction!
2.When we understand how immensely we have been forgiven, and how intensely we have been loved and saved by God, then we will surely be more all the more willing to show that same forgiveness, that same love and the same compassion on those around us and be gentle in dealing with them. When we understand how God had such deep concern and interest in our lives, then we would be all the more willing to show the same deep concern for and interest in the lives of others.
3.The next step to cultivate gentleness is to train our minds to regard the lives of people around us as being very precious and valuable. If you were given a piece of fragile porcelain so rare and costly as to make it irreplaceable, how carefully and gently you would handle it! If you were to hold a little new-born baby in your hands and marvel at the life that God has infused into this bundle of joy, how tenderly and gently you would carry it!
Now exactly how valuable are the lives of people around us? Each and every person is of priceless value because each person is created in the image of God. Each and every person also receives life, health and sustenance from God and if God considers them as being precious enough to receive all of these things from Him, we would be insulting God if we did not value them too. Let us learn to appreciate the value of people around us and regard every person we meet as a special person who deserves our attention and our interest in him.
4.And we have an additional reason to be gentle with those who are saved – because God has considered them valuable enough to send His only begotten Son to die for them. They have been bought with the precious blood of Jesus Christ, and we must therefore be most careful how we handle any brother or sister in Christ. We must be very gentle with them because they are precious in God’s sight.
In Ephesians 4:32 God’s Word says ‘Be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.
– Firstly, being gentle means being careful not to offend or cause another fellow believer to stumble
– Secondly, thinking of gentleness between fellow believers in the local church or the wider body of Christ means that if any believer offends you or sins against you, do not seek to retaliate, but be very willing to forgive him or her. (Having said this, this statement is also true in our dealings with even unbelievers)
5.Being gentle means seeking the welfare of others, and not only of oneself. (In Philippians 2:4, God’s Word says, Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others
-In order for us to be sincere in seeking the welfare of others
- we must be willing to see things from their point of view.
- We must be willing to understand them well, to be sensitive to their needs, to sympathize with them, feel their feelings, and even think their thoughts.
- In other words, we should try our best to put ourselves in their shoes (Empathy). Then we would be able to think about the best way we can respond to them, and ways in which we can really be of help to them. (That is how we show gentleness to our spouse, children and people in our circle of association)
6.Now it takes some conscious effort for anyone to cultivate this ability to keep up this concern for others in order to be gentle with them. We have to be intentional in wanting to show gentleness to your spouse, children, family, and people around us as believers. It’s a determined conscious choice you have to make every day in life. You must have the intention for godliness and then God now helps you because we can’t do it by ourselves alone. But you must have the desire or intention to do so.
Philippians 2:13: [Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight (AMPC)
On our own we strength alone we would fail to do operate in gentleness for very long, because our tendency is usually to be concerned only for ourselves.
7.But remember that gentleness is part of the fruit of the Spirit, according to Galatians 5:22-23. When one is filled with the Spirit, one receives the special grace to keep being concerned for others and to be gentle in our dealings with them. Also, if you know that you are lacking in that particular fruit of the Spirit called gentleness then seek God for it in prayers.
Practical ways on how we can demonstrate more gentleness?
Gentleness is typically regarded as something that is weak, mild, or non-assertive. But when we consider that it is a “fruit” of God’s Holy Spirit being active in our lives and that being gentle requires the strength of self-control, thoughtfulness, tact, and concern—we see it in an entirely different way.
Modern examples of gentleness are distinctly uncommon. How do we stay above the harsh, cruel, and angry world around us?
- Apologize quickly after “shouting” and “emotional outbursts.” We are human beings with powerful emotions, and these will happen, but a gentle person will realize how the things they’ve said might have affected others and will apologize, seek to make amends, and seek to gain the self-control that will prevent such outbursts in the future.
- Remind ourselves of God’s gentleness with us. Chances are, we would not want to be on the receiving end of our own lack of gentleness in our daily interaction with people; and that is a problem. How would we want God to correct us or point something out to us? The way we shout at people or act insensitively in total disregard of how they feel or might feel afterwards? God is always gentle with you despite your big flaws & errors, therfore be gentle with others.
- Think about what our attitude looks like. For example: When we see someone doing something wrong, is our cane out, ready to flog someone? Or, instead, is our notebook or bible out with ideas of how to help someone overcome a sin? Getting these pictures in our heads often makes us aware of our lack of gentleness and will eventually get us reaching for the notebook or Bible rather than the harsh words or the cane.
Now that we have seen how we may cultivate a gentle spirit, we may proceed to consider where we need to apply gentleness.
Where we need to apply gentleness
We need this kind of gentleness first of all in serving God and others. The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 2:7 ‘But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cheriseth her children.’ Those who are in any area of service, whether as a Sunday School teacher, or as a fellowship group committee member or a Bible study leader need to cultivate gentleness. A ministry characterized by gentleness is a ministry that will edify people and provides a good environment for spiritual growth.
Secondly, we need gentleness in dealing with our loved ones. Gentleness should rightly begin at home. According to 1 Peter 3:7, husbands ought to dwell with their wives, ‘according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel’
Remember the illustration of Jesus and the bruised reed (Isaiah 42), how He handles the bruised reed with care and sensitivity; that is how Jesus wants to deal with spouse & family members.
It is sometimes surprising and even strange to find that people are the least gentle with the ones who are closest to them, because they tend to take them for granted, and also expect too much from them.
Let us be careful to be just as gentle, if not more gentle, with our parents, with our brothers and sisters in our own family, with our spouse, and with our own children.
Thirdly, we need gentleness in the way we give instructions or commands, we need gentleness in warning and rebuking others, when they have done something wrong.
Proverbs 31:26; When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.
The manner & tone in which some leaders and some church leadership give orders or instructions to people evokes fear and resentment in the ears of people at the receiving end of their words. It’s not surprising people tend to run away from such a tyrannical leader.
The more pleasant your words are the more likely you are to influence someone or people to accept or follow your point of view or effect a desired change. You cannot yield anything productive or positive if you are abrasive in your attitude towards people (that also includes your loved ones!)
-According to Galatians 6:1,
-God’s Word says that “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer[a] is overcome by some sin, you who are godly[b] should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself”
We should never use a ‘holier than thou’ tone whenever we give such warning, but rather a tone of loving concern for the welfare of the erring brother or sister. Even when church discipline is applied to a believer for sins that are publicly known, the ultimate object of that discipline process is not to condemn the person, but rather to restore him or her to fellowship when true repentance is demonstrated. God bless you
Prayer: Father remove every root of wickedness in my heart in Jesus Name. O Lord, give me the grace to be kind to people around me in Jesus Name
