Society either consciously or subconsciously equate gentleness with being weak, lazy or foolishness! We live in a world that cheers when people clash with police for example during what is supposed to be a peaceful protest and applauds insults as a form of entertainment. Unfortunately even in many Christian marriages the virtue of gentleness is missing between husband’s and wife’s, its actually alarming when you see and hear what some men who claim to be believers do to their wife’s and also vice versa! is gentleness even relevant anymore?
Yes, it is, but we need to go back to God’s word and re-discover why God wants you as a child of God to display the virtue of gentleness to the world.
Text: Galatians 5:22-23; 2 Timothy 2:24
Gentleness is much needed in Christian living. We live in a society that is becoming increasingly aggressive, uncaring, and insensitive to the feelings of others. In the business world, particularly, where everything is always directed toward productivity and profit, to remain competitive, there is very little room for gentleness. Some even see it as normal to manipulate and intentionally step on people just to get to the top in their careers. In the church these days we see the so-called big churches stepping on the smaller churches just to rise in church hierarchy!
But Christ has called us to be in the world but not of the world. We must be different, in order that people who observe our life may notice the difference and be drawn to Christ. In these days of coldness and competitive hostility in society and even amongst family members it is particularly necessary that Christians learn gentleness.
Gentleness is also a quality needed for Christian Service
In 2 Timothy 2:24 the apostle Paul gave this instruction ‘And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient.’
-It is therefore good for us therefore to cultivate a gentle spirit in our life. It pleases both God and men, and it also facilitates our service for the Lord.
What is Gentleness?
Some adjectives are closely linked to the word gentle such as kind, soft, benevolent, merciful, considerate, understanding etc. So anytime you see a word like soft or kind being used in the bible especially in the context of human relationship or interaction, you can be certain it is also referring to the virtue of gentleness.
Gentleness is very closely related to another quality in the fruit of the Spirit: meekness. In fact in many passages they go together and are used interchangeably in the English language. These two qualities seem to go together. Meekness however may be distinguished from gentleness in that meekness is the way one regards oneself and is therefore described in the Scriptures as ‘lowliness of mind.’ (e.g. Philippians 2:3). Gentleness on the other hand, deals with the way that one regards others.
A gentle person is mild-mannered toward people, moderate, considerate, thoughtful to others, yielding and friendly. A person who is gentle does not resort to using force or manipulation to get things done.
-See Titus 3:2 ‘To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle shewing all meekness unto all men.’
But very often people are told that this soft approach to people is not suitable for survival in our world. We are told that if we want to be successful, we must adopt an unscrupulous approach, bull-dozing our way through no matter what it may cost to others. We are told that results can only be obtained by being aggressive and rough toward all competitors and refusing to give in to any demands or requests.
Men, especially, are not expected to be gentle because this is a sign of weakness, but to be tough and unyielding. But the truth is that gentleness is not a sign of weakness at all. It can be a most powerful tool used by God to accomplish His purposes. Proverbs 15:1 ‘A soft (gentle) answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.’ Proverbs 25:15 ‘By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.’
The Bible gives us an excellent example of a king who was not gentle in dealing with his people and the result of it was that he lost most of his kingdom. According to 2 Chronicles 10:6-16;
When Rehoboam, the son of King Solomon came to the throne of Israel, his people requested him to ease the heavy taxation that his father had imposed on them to finance his massive building projects. Rehoboam first asked the wise older men for their advice, in Vs 7 and they said to him, ‘If thou wilt be kind to this people and please them, and speak good words to them, they will be thy servants for ever.’ The advice by the elders was that king Rehoboam would gain more by being gentle toward the people.
But Rehoboam did not listen to them. Instead he listened to the advice of his younger friends who told him to be tough, saying to the people, in Vs 10-11 ‘My little finger shall be thicker than my father’s loins. For whereas my father put a heavy yoke on you, I will put more to your yoke: my father chastised you with whips, but I shall chastise you with scorpions!’
King Rehoboam followed this very unwise advice. He made a choice to be mean & wicked and the consequence for his lack of gentleness in dealing with God’s people was that he lost 10 tribes which broke away and formed another kingdom. That is how the nation of Israel was divided into the Kingdom of Judah & the Kingdom of Israel. This would not have happened if only the king had chosen the gentle approach with God’s people.
In life, as children of God, we have a choice to be gentle or to be mean. We have a choice to be considerate or be insensitive. We have a choice to be merciful or to be ruthless. Pride is one of the biggest killers of gentleness in the way we relate to our spouse, children, siblings and people around us.
Besides understanding what gentleness is, it is also important for us to clarify what gentleness is not.
To be gentle is not the same as being gullible or naive. Christ told His disciples to be wise as serpents, while being harmless as doves (Matthew 10v16b). Gentleness does not mean as a child of God you should endure physical, emotional, and psychological abuse. We would be unwise to accommodate wicked or dreadful people who take advantage of our gentleness and manipulate us for their own purposes.
Gentleness must always be applied with wisdom. Even our gentle Saviour Jesus Christ who is called the Lamb of God, did not commit Himself to everyone who claimed to believe in Him, because as the omniscient Lord He knew all men and what motives they had for coming to Him (John 2:23-25).
To be gentle also does not mean that one must always give in to others, even on issues where we must stand firm and uncompromising. Whenever moral principles are at stake, we cannot afford to be swayed by others. In the history of Israel there was one king who was just the opposite of Rehoboam. While Rehoboam was not gentle enough, this king was much too gentle even with the enemies of God. This king was Jehoshaphat. He was a good and god-fearing king, but he adopted friendly attitude toward King Ahab, who was the most wicked king of Israel. Ahab married Jezebel the evil Sidonian princess who brought Baal worship into Israel. He persecuted the prophets of God and coveted the property of Naboth.
Jehoshaphat accepted Ahab’s invitation to help him fight a battle. He embarked on a joint shipping venture with Ahab. Jehoshaphat even had his son married to Ahab’s daughter. But each of these things ended in disaster, as a prophet from God rebuked Jehoshaphat, in 2nd Chronicles 19:2b; “Should you help the wicked and love those who hate the Lord? Therefore the wrath of the Lord is upon you.
Some believers in UK, because of wanting to show love & inclusion, consciously & willingly attend pagan festivals. They join in the festivities of dancing to the idols and eating food that have been dedicated to fake gods. This is how some people bring problem to their lives, because the eating of food dedicated to pagan gods and dancing to music dedicated to idols automatically causes them to form a covenant or link to these idols which are associated with demonic spirits
Let us therefore learn to exercise gentleness with wisdom, standing firm on moral principles.
Another example of what gentleness is not can be seen in the new testament two of the disciples provide an example of a lack of gentleness. The story (found in Luke 9:51-56-Read) involves Jesus Christ traveling to Jerusalem with His disciples. When they tried to pass through a Samaritan village, the people there did not receive Him since He was continuing on to Jerusalem.
James and John (who were also known as the “Sons of Thunder,” Mark 3:17) asked Jesus if He wanted them “to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them, just as Elijah did” (verse 54).
Christ rebuked them and answered: “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.”
Jesus Christ was interested in serving these people, not in vengeance and prideful displays of power. He displayed what is found in Ezekiel 33:11: “‘As I live,’ says the Lord GOD, ‘I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn, turn from your evil ways!’”
James and John, to whom Jesus had given the nickname “sons of thunder (Mark 3:17), still had much to learn from Jesus’ example of gently helping these people come to repentance.
Whatever deliberate action you do or intentional word you say that leads to people being hurt or destroyed cannot be a gentle action or word no matter how much you try to sugar-coat it! God bless you
Prayer: O God arise and remove every root of wickedness from my heart in the name of Jesus
Feast of Light Global Ministry
