Sibling rivalry is a common phenomenon that occurs between children raised in the same family. It can happen between blood-related siblings, stepsiblings, and even adopted or foster siblings. You hear some very horrible stories of how some sibling out of envy will seek occultic powers to stop the rising of their sibling who is doing well in life. This is the most extreme form of sibling rivalry which can be rightly termed as household wickedness of the highest order. My prayer is that God will arise by fire and deliver you from any form of household wickedness in Jesus Name. Amen!
Hence what does the bible have to say about sibling rivalry?
Sibling rivalry is a common theme in the Bible, and it is first seen in the story of Cain and Abel. Cain was jealous of Abel’s offering to God, and this led to him killing his brother (Genesis 4). Similarly, Joseph’s brothers were envious of him because their father favoured him, and they sold him into slavery (Genesis 37:12-36).
The following are some of the causes of sibling rivalry according to research:
•Major life changes: Moving into a new home, expecting a new baby, or getting a divorce can be stressful for parents and children alike, and many children take their frustrations and anxieties out on the nearest target (i.e., their little sister or brother) .
•Ages and stages: There are some developmental stages when sibling rivalry is worse, like when both children are under 4 years or there are especially large or small age gaps between siblings.
•Jealousy: Siblings may be jealous of and harbour resentment toward one another. For example, if one child receives more attention or praise from parents, the other child may feel left out and resentful.
•Individuality: Kids have a natural inclination to set themselves apart, including from their siblings. This can spark competitions to see who can build the taller tower, race the fastest car, or eat the most waffles. It may seem trivial to you, but it feels hugely important to them.
•Lack of conflict resolution skills: If your kids routinely see you and your spouse fighting in loud or aggressive ways, they may role model that behaviour. Children learn predominantly by modelled behaviour they see in you and your spouse.
It’s important to note that sibling rivalry is normal and can be healthy in small doses (for example; my immediate older sister in my childhood was very good academically and it motivated me to aspire to be like her). However, if it becomes too intense or frequent, it can lead to long-term negative effects on the siblings’ relationship and mental health. As a Christian parent, you can help your children behave more like friends and less like mortal enemies by sowing seeds of peace (remind them in your bible sessions with them about the story of Abel and Cain of what hatred, jealousy and lack of love and self-control can do to a sibling relationship).
Parents can help their children avoid sibling rivalry by following biblical principles. Here are some tips to help you get started:
- Avoid comparisons: Avoid comparing your children to each other, and instead, focus on their individual strengths and accomplishments.
- Parents can teach their children to love one another and to treat each other with respect. They can also encourage their children to be honest and to communicate openly with one another.
- Encourage teamwork: Encourage your children to work together on projects or activities, and praise them for their cooperation and teamwork.
- Teach them the importance and benefit of unity based on God’s word. You may use Psalm 133:1-3 below as a template
(1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to dwell together in unity! 2 It is like the precious oil upon the head, Running down on the beard, The beard of Aaron, Running down on the edge of his garments. 3 It is like the dew of Hermon, Descending upon the mountains of Zion; For there the Lord commanded the blessing—Life forevermore.) NKJV
- Set clear boundaries: Set clear boundaries for acceptable behaviour, and enforce them consistently.
- Spend quality time with each child: Spend quality time with each child individually, and make sure they feel valued and loved.
- Additionally, parents can model good Christ-like behaviour by treating their children fairly and by avoiding favouritism
- Teach your children how to resolve conflicts in a healthy and constructive way.
- Above all encourage a consistent and vibrant family altar, where you and your children pray and study God’s word together as this will ensure that the Spirit of God builds love and unity between your children.
God bless you
Altar call: For anyone reading this article who is not saved and wants to be part of the family of God or you want to re-dedicate your life back to Jesus, please repeat this out loud. “Lord Jesus, I acknowledge that I have sinned against you. Lord Jesus forgive me of my sins. I repent of my sins. Lord Jesus come into my life and be my Lord now and forever in Jesus Name“
Prayer: Father Lord, please help my children to dwell together in love, peace and unity all their days in Jesus Name
Feast of Light Word Ministry
