Bible Text: “Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and attend to your herds.” (Proverbs 27:23, NKJV)
This verse in my humble opinion is often applied to stewardship, emphasising care and attention to what has been entrusted to us. However, it also applies to marriage, where spouses are called to be diligent in knowing, understanding, and nurturing each other.
Just as a shepherd tends to his sheep with care, love, and attention, husbands and wives must intentionally invest in their marriage so that it will thrive and flourish.
Knowing Your Spouse – The Foundation of Intimacy
Many marriages struggle because spouses fail to truly know each other. Love is not automatic; it requires effort, just as a shepherd carefully observes the condition of his flock.
1 Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to “dwell with [their wives] with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life.”
This means making an effort to understand their emotions, struggles, dreams, and desires.
In the same way, wives should be attentive to their husbands’ emotional, spiritual, and physical needs.
Ephesians 5:33 says, “Let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Love and respect require knowledge of each other’s needs and a conscious and determined willingness to meet them.
Understanding and Meeting Needs
Some translations of Proverbs 27:23 say, “Learn all you can about your sheep.” This aligns with the biblical call for husbands and wives to learn each other’s love language. Gary Chapman’s five love languages—words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and gifts—highlight that love is expressed in different ways. What makes one spouse feel loved may not be the same for the other.
For example, a husband might think that buying gifts expresses love, but if his wife’s primary love language is quality time, she may feel neglected despite his generosity.
Proverbs 27:23 teaches that spouses should intentionally learn and adapt to each other’s needs, fostering deeper intimacy.
Serving in Marriage – The Heart of Sacrificial Love
Marriage is not just about receiving; it is about giving. Mark 10:45 reminds us that “the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.” If Jesus, our perfect example, came to serve, how much more should husbands and wives serve each other in love?
Just as a waiter serves a customer, prioritising their preferences, spouses should be willing to serve one another joyfully. This does not mean becoming a doormat, but rather embracing a heart of selflessness.
Galatians 5:13 encourages us to “serve one another through love.” A husband who only thinks about his own needs will frustrate his wife. A wife who is only concerned about herself will create distance in the marriage. True love is about mutual sacrifice.
A Selfish Marriage Will Struggle
If one or both partners focus only on their own desires, the marriage will suffer.
Philippians 2:3-4 warns against selfishness, saying, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
When both spouses actively seek to meet each other’s needs, marriage becomes a source of joy and fulfilments rather than frustration. Intimacy grows when both partners feel valued and understood.
Final Encouragement
As I reflect on this article, the Holy Spirit reminds me; Marriage is a gift from God, meant to reflect Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:25).
Just as Christ gave Himself for the Church, spouses are called to give themselves in love and service to one another. Be diligent to know the state of your spouse. Listen to them, learn from them, love them as Christ loves.
When both husband and wife serve each other selflessly, intimacy flourishes, and the marriage becomes a testimony of God’s love.
Altar call: For anyone reading this article who is not saved and wants to be part of the family of God or you want to re-dedicate your life back to Jesus, please repeat this out loud. “Lord Jesus, I acknowledge that I have sinned against you. Lord Jesus forgive me of my sins. I repent of my sins. Lord Jesus come into my life and be my Lord now and forever in Jesus Name. Amen
Prayer:
- I decree and declare that love, joy and peace will saturate my marriage, in Jesus Name
- Any dark power or strange personality bringing contention and disunity in my home, be disgraced now, in Jesus Name
- My marriage shall be a blessing to me and the world by the power in the blood of Jesus, in Jesus Name
Feast of Light Word Ministry
